This is a really cool, kinda creepy picture. I was intrigued by it though, so i thought i would put it on here. Except for the creepiness of the eyes, it almost reflects how i have been feeling. Somewhat blank, and blah-zae! (or however you say that)

i am determined to turn this around. i just wish i knew what it was that was making me feel so many sad things. It's not the kind of stuff that normal people normally dwell on. But here I am, nonetheless, dwelling on them. It's horrible and depressing. I mean, i am not depressed, but I feel like crying a lot, but can't...and I don't know... it's crazy. i know this sounds reclusive, but i hope we don't start spilling personal stuff at the meeting tonight. i don't think i would want to. but knowing me, i would start bawling if we did, then of course they wouldn't let me leave withOUT talking. urrgghh.

I need to start seeing my world in bright colors again. It was foggy out this morning, which totally fit my mood. I still have joy and hope in God, but I guess i have just been spending a lot of my time throughout the day NOT thinking about how awesome He is. I decided yesterday to REALLy limit how much secular music i listen to. not that my non-Christian music is bad, but some of the stuff i really like is very emotional or sad or "regretful," so it keeps me in a funk, cuz i will keep singing those songs in my head. i need to have praise stuck in my head. i hope that will help. i need something. well, let me reword that. I have something...it's God. i just need to reclaim the Joy that comes through Him.